Entophile?

It has been a while since my last post on this blog. I don’t enjoy reading peoples’ complaints about not having kept up with their blog, but I feel like writing about it, so here we go.

There was a time when I identified as an entomologist. That was actually my official title at work, job series 0414 Entomologist. Granted I was working as a pest management consultant, and, lets face it, pest management is at the low end of respectability when it comes to entomology. But still, I could say that I was an entomologist, and people came me to with their pest questions. I was traveling to different military bases across the Pacific to train pesticide applicators and inspect pest management programs – it was a great time. Or should I say it was great for me. I had young children then, so it was not so great for my spouse who had to be a single parent while I was off having fun doing entomology. Looking back on it, I was selfish and maybe I’m the price now that my family is older and I am not as close with my kids as I could be, but maybe that is my emotionally detached personality. Regardless, it was a fun being an entomologist.

Eventually I saw that this was becoming a problem, so I changed positions. I was no longer a Navy pest management consultant and became a Navy natural resources manager. I have to admit there were some selfish motives for this change also. I saw an opportunity to get more into conservation, which I thought would be more rewarding. Also, I figured I would have more chances to get out in the field and do insect surveys, which was more exciting than pest management. This ended up being partially true, but the longer I was in that position, the more I got pushed into program administration. I suppose that is the natural progression of one’s career, but that didn’t make it any more palatable. I started out as the lone biologist in my new organization, and after about 8 years I was the team lead of a small group of biologists. I did manage get involved with some interesting projects, so it wasn’t all bad, but it got to the point where I wasn’t enjoying it anymore, and I was yearning for those days of traveling, helping people with pest problems, and training pesticide applicators on military bases throughout the Pacific.

It was another tough decision, but I made up my mind to get back to that place where I was happy and had that entophile identity. I decided to leave my natural resources position. When informed my supervisor, he told me that they were going to promote me and change my position to a higher grade. I was asked to reconsider, but in the end, I stuck with my decision and made the move back to my previous position. It was hard because we had built a good team, which I now realize is rare and not something to be taken for granted. My spouse also questioned the wisdom of passing up a promotion, but she was supportive and wanted what was best for me. The only problem was the entomologist in my previous position was not going to retire for another year, so I had to take a completely different position in the meantime. I ended up working in Range Sustainment, and by “range,” I mean military range used for training. This was not my area of expertise, but I figured I could do it until my old position opened up. I muddled through munitions and operational range clearance work for a little less than a year, but I was able to travel to Okinawa a couple times, so it wasn’t all bad.

Eventually the guy in my old position retired, and I was finally able to be an entomologist again. I was even in the same cubicle when I started almost 16 years earlier. The problem now was COVID. No one was in the office, and there was no travel. I was finally back to being an entomologist, but it was definitely not the same. I have to say though, I was still a lot happier, and I felt my old identity coming back.

Then my new supervisor got promoted, which left his position vacant. As luck (maybe bad luck, I don’t know) would have it, many of the folks on my new team were ineligible to fill the vacant supervisor position, and the ones that were eligible were not interested. I didn’t feel like it would be fair to my family for me to turn down a second promotion, and I didn’t want some random person to be my supervisor, so I took the new position.

So here I am now, feeling a little lost again. My new title is Supervisory Fish and Wildlife Biologist and it has been about one year. Our entire team is mostly teleworking full time and has been doing so since I started. I thought I could do entomology and be a supervisor at the same time, but that has not exactly worked out. I am now in the process of backfilling my previous position, and once that happens, I will be even more removed from entomology than I was before. It is OK though – I have accepted my role, and I understand that my first priority is trying to be a good supervisor, and of course it is nice making more money.

This gets back to my identity. Am I still an entophile? I’m still into bugs, but I don’t feel the same zeal. Maybe I am just out of practice. I do know that I want to start writing in this blog again, but I can’t say it is for certain going to be about insects all the time. Probably too late to change the name though.